Sunday Thoughts: September 21st, 2008

“He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever."

Have you ever been heartbroken? So has He! How did you react? He reacted with love! Completely separated and cast out of the Garden, one might be fooled into thinking it was punishment, but it was love!

Had we stayed in the Garden, with access to the Tree of Life, we might have obtained eternal life in our fallen state, and thereby obtained eternal separation from a Father that loves us. The only option that allowed for a future reconciliation included the banishment from the Garden. The only option that allowed a loving Father to have a relationship with his children might have been viewed as punishment or vengeance, but it was Love!

These were some of the thoughts that Shannon shared with us earlier this week, and I have been thinking about them since then. As I sit here in China, there are times when I long for home, but in a larger sense I realize that it’s not “Maryland” that I desire; It’s the “Garden” and the complete reconciliation between the Father and his children.

“For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.”

Why we are grateful this week:

1) The entire IECS teacher team is finally in China!

2) We were in Tianjin on Sunday to visit with Wil & Courtney Corder and Newt, & Claire Hetrick.

Please continue to “think” about us:

1) Jess and Jess Shamblee have had some very deep conversations with a student that we have known for over a year. Please remember them in your thoughts.

2) Please remember Tony & Lily. Lily is still looking great. She is due in about 3 weeks.

3) As we settle into our 4th week of classes, our immune systems are starting to fail us. This is fairly common for me at the beginning of every school year. With 200 students coming from different locations, I usually catch something! Right now it’s just a “head cold.” When I wake up in the morning, my voice is weak and my nose is running. After a Dayquil, Halls, Coffee, and a few good sneezes, I’m fine. However, I’d like to be done with this cold, and I’m hopping that nobody else has to deal with their own version of this cold. Jess and Shannon have also been feeling under the weather.

4) Peter’s twin brother, Connor, is a Marine Officer and he will be deployed to Iraq at the end of the month.

5) Jess and I have once again posted the pictures of our students on facebook. Please remember them in your thoughts. We will tag their names to the pictures within the next week.

Brad’s classes: Sophomore Business Class 1, Sophomore Business Class 2, Freshman Applied Class 1, Freshman Applied Class 2, & Freshman Applied Class 3

Jess’ classes: Junior Business Class 1, Junior Business Class 2, Sophomore Oral English Class 1, Sophomore Oral English Class 2, Freshman Applied Class 2, & Freshmen Oral English Class 3

6) The students have asked us to be guests at one of their student lead English Clubs. It’ll be this Monday night, and it should be fun. Peter and Shannon have been asked to speak about Love & Marriage. Jess Shamblee will introduce herself to the students.

7) We will have three English Clubs on the western campus, and the final dates are set: October 10th, November 14th, and December 12th. We are still working on the three dates for the main campus English Clubs that we would like to organize.

8) Peter and I will be having lunch weekly with a couple guys, and the girls will be meeting with a few students on a weekly basis as well. We are hoping that this will be a great time of learning for all of us.

9) Wil and Courtney Corder, arrived in Tianjin for a year of teaching last Thursday. The two of them are alone in a foreign town and dealing with jet lag. They start classes on Monday morning. Please remember them in your thoughts.

10) Please remember the “Communication Guidelines” when communicating directly with anyone in China!

Going the second mile and loving it,
Brad

“For you will go out with joy and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”

Dear Friends,

Throughout this week, I have been on a search for joy. Not that I felt lacking in joy, but because I wanted to share some fun stories with you. It is amazing how much joy and laughter you can find when you are looking for it! We laughed as Brad ordered a spicy dog soup on Thursday night, and Peter and Shannon tried a spicy rabbit on toothpick skewers on Friday night. We shook our heads when the English department bought us 10 moon cakes…each…to celebrate Mid-Autumn Day, and then Joseph brought us two more each. That’s 60 moon cakes total! Here were a few funny conversations from the week:

Brad and Vera stood next to a multi-colored map on the wall showing world-wide mosquito patterns and diseases.
Brad (pointing to the map): Vera, are these mosquitoes?
Vera: No, it is a map.

Brad (in a t-shirt and cargo pants) was walking Shamblee and I (in our dress clothes) to class. Danielle joined us.
Danielle: Brad, are you going to teach a class now?
Brad (joking): Yes, I’m on my way to teach a class called, “Casual Dress in America.”
Danielle (gravely): Brad, I think maybe your clothing is not a good example for this class. It does not look very nice.

Two people won my Contagious Joy Award for the week: Jess Shamblee and Brad Distad. Yesterday was not an easy day. At 9am we three teachers met four students (Forrest, Vivian, Cassie, and Melinda) to go into Beijing for the day. Due to Mid-Autumn day (today), the crowds were the worst I had seen in Beijing. Our train left Langfang at 10am, and we had standing-room-only tickets. After an hour of standing, we arrived in Beijing to wait in a long line to buy the train tickets for the home trip. Then we waited in a long line for subway tickets, and another long line to scan our bags and enter the subway. The subways were crowded too, and we stood most of the time as we rode to the opposite side of Beijing.

We didn’t arrive at the Beijing English Club until 1pm, and then grabbed a quick lunch at KFC, which we ate as we walked. It took us 3 hours to get from the Langfang Train Station to the English Club. At English Club with Tony, Lily, Frank, and Helen, we were the main show. First we practiced with the other leaders, and Club was from 2-4pm. Brad led songs, Jess led games, I helped them, and we all participated in the skit and led discussion groups. The Club went well, and then conversations lasted until after 5pm. We had a great time, and our students made a lot of new friends. After Club, we went to dinner with Tony, Lily, Frank, and Helen. It really was the only time we got to sit all day. After dinner we raced back across Beijing, arriving at the Silk Market for 20 minutes of shopping at 7:30pm.

At 8pm we were back at the train station, being shoved through turnstiles and dodging hurrying travelers dragging luggage and children. A man yelled with a megaphone into Brad’s ear, and Brad put his hand up in front of the megaphone to signal that he stop. The man instead acted as if Brad had pushed it into his mouth, and began to yell at Brad while patting his mouth with his fingertips. We pushed our way on to the train, only to find that every available seat and standing space appeared to be taken. The train attendants continued to shove more and more people onto the train. Then people would arrive to take their assigned seats, and eject those seated into the already-crowded aisle. You can forget any concept of personal space in a crowded Chinese train. I stood pinned between two men’s legs, Melinda braced herself with her arms around Brad, and Jess was in the middle of a four person “butt-sandwich.” The air was hot and humid and we fanned ourselves with whatever books and paper we could find. My stomach cramped up with the need to use the facilities, and my knees locked up from being unable to bend for the hour-long train ride.

In the midst of all of this, Brad and Jess Shamblee kept up their spirits. They led us in singing song after song, to the delight (or annoyance) of our Chinese neighbors. “If You’re Happy And You Know It,” “Barbara Ann,” “Brown Eyed Girl,” “Sweet Home Alabama,” “I Want It That Way,” “Build Me Up Buttercup,” “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” “Swing Low,” and more. They taught the kids to do the wave (down the middle of the aisle), and we exchanged how to say various Chinese and English words. Even as we climbed off the train and a smoker puffed his cigarette right into our faces, and even as Jess had to wait in line again at the train station for her tickets for Tuesday, they kept up their spirits. Brad taught the kids “Apples and Bananas,” in the van on the way back to the college. We arrived back at the college after 10:00pm; 13 hours after our journey began. We were thoroughly exhausted, and ready to wash up and go to bed. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow, but even as I drifted off Brad encouraged me by telling me how proud he was of me and how much he loved me. Even as tired as he was, he was able to comfort and encourage me.

Brad and Jess Shamblee won the Contagious Joy Award, because they know and believe in a secret: “In each and every situation I have learned the secret of being full and of going hungry, of having too much and of having too little. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” What a blessing it was to travel with them yesterday. I learned so much about Him and his loving strength from their positive attitudes and joyful spirits. The day ended with no regrets, no hurtful words, and no hurt feelings, because they brought joy to our endless day. The kids remarked on their positive attitudes to me, and I had to agree that they showed great character in dealing with such a long and tiring day.

So this one is for Brad Distad and Jess Shamblee. You are my happy heroes. Thank you for yesterday’s lessons in joy. :)

Love,
Jessie

Sunday Thoughts: September 14th, 2008

“Protect them by the power of your name – the name you gave me – so that they may be one as we are one.”

Separation and division are the tools of the enemy. If we cannot be separated from our Father, then we can be divided from each other.

We spent our time this morning discussing the importance of unity. We desire to work together with one purpose, one vision, and one goal, so that we may be one as The Son and The Father are one! “He must become greater, I must become less.” Please remember this in your thoughts about us this week.

Why we are grateful this week:

1) Today is Shannon’s 26th Birthday.

2) Today is also Mid-Autumn Day. It’s a traditional holiday in China. We have received many “moon cakes” as gifts. They are similar to large Fig Newtons, and they are the traditional food for this holiday.

3) I had an exceptionally good conversation with a student this week! I’ll have to write more in my next mailing! I’ll send it home by the end of the month, so maybe it’ll be in your mailboxes by early October.

4) Yesterday, we went to Beijing with four students. We left at 9am, ate lunch at KFC, and went to an English Club. Later we had dinner with Tony & Lily, and visited the Silk Market. It was a great day of friendship, and fellowship.

Please continue to “think” about us:

1) By the end of next week the entire IECS team will be in China!

2) Please remember Tony & Lily. Lily looks great, and she is due in about 4 weeks.

3) Peter’s twin brother will be deployed to Iraq soon. He is an officer in the Marines, and should be in a secure location most of the time, but we are still concerned for him.

4) Since this is a holiday weekend in China, traveling anywhere is more difficult than normal! There were many “cultural norms” that we thought we had accepted. However, we have realized that all of us are in need of more patience!


Going the second mile and loving it,
Brad

November 7, 2008: 1,000 Day Honeymoon

Dear Friends,

Brad and I have been married for almost 1,000 days. 987 to be exact.

We’ve had lots of time to think about our marriage. Of course, not as much as some couples. According to some, we’re still in the “honeymoon” phase. We hope we’ll always be there. We like to talk about our marriage. Discuss it. Analyze it. Improve it. Affirm it. I like to read books about marriage, and we discuss them together. Any movie, conversation, or question can give us days of discussion.

Our friends Peter and Shannon got married this summer. It was an opportunity to think about our own vows, about the choices we made. At various points in the process, we were asked for words of wisdom on marriage. My advice to the couple? Remember these days. Remember these moments. A wedding is a day, marriage is forever. Marriage is hard work. Never give up. Never stop trying. Look for the best in one another. Keep getting to know one another. Date each other. Smile. Laugh. Flirt. Encourage. Apologize. Forgive.

Two dating students came to us this week. I’ll call them Philip and Hannah. Philip is a good friend of Brad’s, and they often hang out together. Hannah hadn’t spoken to Philip in three weeks. During the summer apart, Hannah decided that Philip was calling too often and that she needed her “freedom.” Philip promised that he could change his temper, that they could start a new relationship, but Hannah only wanted to be friends. Philip wanted us to tell Hannah to be mature and responsible, to be honest and work things out with him.

As Brad and I tried to counsel this young dating couple, our exchanged looks spoke volumes. You can’t force love. You can’t make someone love you. Love is a choice. Both members of the couple should feel the same way about the relationship. Love does not insist that you change who you are. In love you can be yourself. Marriage is a commitment, a chosen bond. Sometimes loving someone you are dating means letting them go. Letting go often means hurt. Sometimes love means moving on. Sometimes love means hanging on. Sometimes love means fighting for it. But sometimes it doesn’t. Love isn’t always black and white. Honesty, maturity, and responsibility don’t always mean that you must stay together and get married. Sometimes it means that you go your separate ways.

Brad and I spoke afterward. What are the rules of dating? Both of us could list several predictable dating patterns and scenarios. Did we follow the rules? Both of us could list the relational mistakes we made prior to our meeting. But, did we follow the “rules” in our own relationship? Did we follow our own advice?

Hmmm. I had a crush on Brad for a year prior to dating him, during which I gave up on waiting for him to ask me out and dated two other young men consecutively (while still liking him). I asked Brad to be my swing-dancing partner, Sadie Hawkins style. Brad was wary of dating ever again and had no plans of getting to know me beyond friendship. Yet he told his closest friends that he would marry me after our second dance lesson. He proposed spontaneously after six weeks of dating, without a ring, and without asking my father first. We were married less than six months later, and a year and a half after that we were on our way to China.

No, I think it’s safe to say that we didn’t follow the rules. Would I do it again, given the same circumstances and knowledge? Yeah, I think I would. Did I do the right thing? Yes. Were there other options? Of course. Maybe I could have waited longer on Brad, maybe we could have taken it slower, maybe we could have followed a “dating plan.” Maybe we could have been more cautious and less impulsive in our courtship. Yet, as Brad pointed out, that’s all in the past. We wouldn’t be where we are today, if it weren’t for the choices we made then. We wouldn’t be married yet, or living in China, or living the life we now live. Who knows what our life would have been? Maybe we were among the few to marry while the fire of our love was still fresh and exciting. Maybe our “honeymoon” has continued because we’re still just getting to know each other. Would I really have wanted it any other way? Could we have done it differently? Sure. But then we would have missed out on this life, this present. We can’t go back and change the past. We can only live the life we are given today.

The morning after our discussion, my voice was thick with emotion. No matter what mistakes we might have made or rules we didn’t follow, I do not regret him. Never. Laying all dating strategies aside, choosing Brad was one of the best choices I have ever made, perhaps the best. Knowing him, loving him, marrying him, and growing old with him is the best decision I could have made. There is no better best friend and life partner for me. I can’t imagine a life without him, without his love, friendship, humor, passion, and enthusiasm for life. We are one, as if we always were. We always will be. In sickness and in health. Until death do us part.

So you may ask us for advice on dating and marriage if you like, but take caution. We’re imperfect people. And we certainly didn’t take our own dating advice. We didn’t really follow the “rules.” We’ve made mistakes, and we probably don’t know as much as you might think.

But next week we’ll joyfully celebrate 1,000 days of marriage, and hope for thousands more.

With Love,
Jessie

Sunday Thoughts September 7th, 2008

“Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see…And don’t you remember?

Remembering the blessings of the past is not always easy! I can focus on the present or the future, and forget the amazing blessings that just happened or, worse yet, not even recognize the blessings. I overlook the blessings, and I worry about everything. But everything is just mere “bread” to him who is in control. I am learning that it is easier to be at peace when I realize that I am not in control. Why would I worry about “bread” when I know who created bread?

Why we are grateful this week:

1) Peter and Shannon Lucas-Roberts arrived safely on Saturday.

2) With the addition of Jessica Shamblee, we now have five English Teachers in Langfang.

3) Our first week of teaching went well!

4) We went to Shijiazhuang on Tuesday for our yearly physical, and it went well!

5) We had dinner with 8 students on Thursday night. There were 11 of us total, and we barely fit around the table! It was a great evening, and we had fun reconnecting with some of our friends from last year.

6) Our schedules are falling into place, and we have tentative dates for English Clubs on the Western Campus.

7) It has been fun to talk with students as we walk around the campus. This has been particularly exciting for me, because a vast majority of my students were on the Western Campus last year, but they are on the main campus this year. Everywhere I walk, I run into at least a couple of students from last year.

Please continue to “think” about us:

1) We are still trying to arrange dates for visits to the Phillip Hayden Foundation, and we are still discussing the possibility of English Club for the main campus.

2) We will continue to spend at least one night a week with students in a large group setting, and that will most likely be on Tuesdays, so please remember that in your thoughts.

3) The rest of the IECS team will be leaving on September 15th, and arriving in China on September 16th. They are: Will & Courtney Corder, in Tianjin, and Amelia Martin, Emily Green, Ryan Bettwy, Tim Phillips, & Jon Allison, in Baoding. There have been some passport complications, but we are hoping that everything goes smoothly as they move forward.

4) Culture shock has been a little different this year since we are more familiar with our surroundings. Instead of everything being “new and exciting”, there has been more of a realization of the difficulties that we will face during the year. It has helped to remember the blessings from the past year!

Going the second mile and loving it,
Brad

Sunday Thoughts August 31st, 2008

“If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”

Nobody “forced” us to come to China, but here we are, excited to see how we will be used in our second year! We returned to China this week and have been slowly recovering the jet-lag.


Why we are grateful this week:

1) Our flight went well; there were no delays and no problems! We left Washington DC around noon on Wednesday, and four movies & a book later we landed in Beijing.

2) After a summer of visiting friends and family, we were finally able to unpack for the first time in two and a half months!

3) The sophomores, juniors, and seniors arrive today!

Please continue to “think” about us:

1) Peter and I will be spending at least three days a week on the Western Campus. Please keep us in your thoughts as we travel to and from the other campus.

2) Our class schedules are set for the semester, but we need to arrange our schedule for visits to the Philip Hayden Foundation, and English Clubs on the Western Campus.

3) We are also considering the possibility of arranging an English Club on our main Campus. There are already few student-run English Clubs, and we would not want to create a sense of competition between theirs and ours. We are also worried about spreading ourselves too thin by adding another Club to our schedules.

4) Peter and Shannon Lucas-Roberts will rejoin our team at the end of this week. They are returning a week late because they are presently on their honeymoon.

5) IECS teachers will be in four colleges this year: Will & Courtney Corder will be in Tianjin, and Amelia Martin, Emily Green, Ryan Bettwy, Tim Phillips, & Jon Allison will be in Baoding. They are all first year teachers in China, and they will be arriving within the next two weeks.

Going the second mile and loving it,
Brad & Jessica Distad

August 17, 2008: Home Sweet Home

"This world is not my home, I'm just passing through.
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue...
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore."

This World is Not My Home, Words and Music by Albert E. Brumley 1965

Dear Friends,

In many ways the past summer "vacation" has been one the most difficult I have experienced. I have truly felt the reality of the phrase, "this world is not my home." There are many definitions of "home," but with every new and temporary experience, I longed more for my eternal home.

Returning "home" from China was in itself a contradiction. Our home in Hagerstown is rented out to a lovely woman and her three children, so we could not return to that home. Instead we stayed with my parents for couple days, before heading to Virginia and then Pennsylvania. During the month of July we lived at Brad's parents house for five weeks, working at Brad's old summer job teaching swimming lessons. Just as I was beginning to get the hang of things, August hit in all its fury. In three weeks we were in Washington DC, Ocean City Maryland, Durant Iowa, Chicago Illinois, Grand Rapids Michigan, Thurmont Maryland, Hagerstown Maryland, Ellicott City Maryland, and Chantilly Virginia. It is hard to believe that in one more week we will be headed "home" to China again.

The constant traveling and time with friends and family has been both a joy and a challenge. Through it all, I must continue to remind myself that "this world is not my home." Despite any preconcieved notions of what "home" really is, I must remember that my father has for me an eternal inheritance and a home that cannot be destroyed. I can rest easy knowing that he has made a time for everything in his plan, and right now his plan is that I be "home-less." If "home is where the heart is," then I know that I was made for another world, and an eternal home.

Love,
Jessie and Brad

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
-- C.S. Lewis